Iowa Law Enforcement Reporter Headquarters Moves To High Ground

There.....that got your attention, didn't it?

Well, it has nothing to do with the recent contretemps with the Des Moines, Raccoon, Cedar, and other pesky rivers in the state that are demonstrating once again that the answer to the question "Who's in charge here?" is "Mother Nature, fool."

Myself and the Dragon Lady removed west to the metropolis of Windsor Heights, where if it wasn't for shoplifters and Walmart the cops would be out of a job.

We saw an opportunity-no, opportunity took us by the scruff of the neck and said "Listen fool-I'm not here forever. So get it together!"

As it happened, we'd been saving for a new car and one day, idly surfing channels we came across a program called "My First Home". After the third episode She looks at me and says "These people are dumber than a box of dirt. If they can do it so can we." It turns out we were in better shape creditwise than we ever believed, and as of April 28 it was ours. As I wandered through the place watching the inspector do his work, it occurred to me that I'd never lived in a place this nice. That was something of a revelation in and of itself.

It's changed me into a guy who looks for excuses to drag Home Despot, and the Sunday handout from Menard's has become required reading. I'm discovering the joys of an epoxy coated garage floor, weed killer, and the ten packs of electrical outlets at Lowe's.

Even though I managed to break my wrist moving furniture the result is beyond my wildest expectations. I would venture that only people who grew up and have lived most of their lives in crappy rentals like me and the Dragon Lady really feel all this on a visceral level.

It also explains why I've been away from my desk here but those matters are being put right.

So long landlord.