The Jive Ass Turkey Awards for 2009

and the winnah is Frank Dotseth.

State v. Dotseth, no. 08-0504 (Iowa Ct. App. Mar. 11, 2009)

Dotseth was convicted of five counts of third degree sexual abuse in Winnishiek County.

He's a minister in the religion he created.

His excuse was that the contact with a thirteen year old female neighbor was part of a holistic treatment to alleviate a rash in the girl's privates.

That doesn't explain, of course, the part about the......errr.....penis.

The girl's claim that he had intercourse with her, he explains, could be accounted for by his inadvertently hypnotizing the girl.